This short non-fiction narrative is included in the book, Eating Kimchi and Nodding Politely. The book is available in ebook and paperback at all major retailers.

It was a totally new building with glass walls and a wonderful view of the woodsy campus behind the main school. I sat inside this new cafeteria with six other teachers who, because of the new lunch schedule that accompanied the new building, weren't used to eating with me – the foreigner. I ate kimchi and occasionally sniffed the queer-smelling chemical scents given off by the building materials.

The oldest staff member in the school, an in-house truancy officer, sat some seats away and glanced at me between mouthfuls of a squid dish that I made a point to avoid. Red and raw looking, it was also a new addition to lunchtime.

Like many Korean seafood dishes the squid’s preparation consisted of a brief kiss with fire while on its straight-line path from the sea to my chopsticks. I find the style a bit disgusting, but Koreans love it and I don’t judge them.

A tentacle hung from the truancy officer’s mouth.

Up to that point our relationship had been comfortably confined to a few exchanged nods in random hallways, but I noticed him point at me as he spoke Korean to another teacher.

I just smiled and prepared myself for a conversation.

With a thick accent he asked, "Are you married?"

I said, "No. No I'm not married."

He asked, "Girlfriend?"

My smiled widened as it often does when something is saddening and funny at the same time. I answered, "No."

He asked, "Do you like Korean girl?"

I answered, "I think they're beautiful."

"Would you... marry Korean girl?"

"Maybe."

"If you marry Korean girl, you stay here in Korea or," he pantomimed a plane taking off with his left hand, "...America?"

"I think I would take her back home with me. I would miss my home country."

"Ah." he nodded his head deeply and continued eating, satisfied with the squid and my answers.

I wasn't the only one to consider the string of invasive questions to be an odd breach of lunch etiquette, and I could see many of the other teachers laughing a little. Mr. 양(Yang) – who sat across from me, and two people away from the truancy officer – jokingly said, "You know, he has a daughter."

I wondered if I should ask about her, but I didn't say anything. I just smiled.

_

*Image Courtesy Charlene Kelley

This short non-fiction narrative is included in the book, Eating Kimchi and Nodding Politely. The book is available in ebook and paperback at all major retailers.